The voice says you’re never going to be a good enough writer, food stylist, blogger, recipe developer, or social media maven. The one that asks “Why bother?” or “Who cares?” Your job is taming the internal critic, but it doesn’t always work.
That voice never goes away, because it is part of you. So taming the internal critic requires effort and patience.
I’ve got some ideas that might help you understand your critic’s purpose and create compassion versus frustration.
On Thursday, I’m hosting a FREE webinar for The International Association of Culinary Professionals, called Taming the Inner Critic. There’s no charge for both members and guests, so no reason not to sign up.
If you can’t join us, IACP will archive the webinar. Then you can watch it anytime, but there is a charge if you’re not a member.
Meanwhile, I read about an idea you might find useful: Give your critic a silly name. That way, his or her negative pronouncements will carry less weight.
I tried this approach with a talented photographer who can’t seem to get around to writing blog posts for her images. I suggested she name her critic Mildred. She giggled. Suddenly, the critic seemed goofy and less powerful.
We talked about how helpful Mildred can be in other areas of my client’s life: in food styling, recipe development, creating a beautiful home, and designing a photo for Instagram. My client relies on Mildred to help her make good critical decisions. But somehow, Mildred doesn’t help her with writing.
Does this sound familiar? Now the challenge is to get Mildred to help her in this final arena of writing, where Mildred is harsh. Later, my client reported that “the writing has begun…slow and steady.” But then, she stopped writing. Now we’re back to working on Mildred. It’s a slow process.
This silly name idea sounds quite logical. But as we know, taming the critic is a slippery process. I’ve dealt with her messages in my head since childhood. But I’m naming her Bertha now, or maybe Ethel. Already I like her better.
Join me for this free webinar on Thursday and let’s tackle our negative thoughts together. Register here, while it’s still free!
I suspect that a lot of folks would name their inner critic “Mom” or “Dad.”
Oh yeah. Absolutely. The thing is, at this point, the inner critic is you. They can’t actually get in your head.
Interesting article. Thanks for sharing your Idea.
You’re welcome, Krishi. If you want to listen to the webinar, it will be up on the IACP website in a few days.
Julia Cameron does this too. (I think hers is Nigel.) But I can’t decide what to name him/her! I tend to procrastinate at everything!
You can always change it later. Maybe Nigel will become Mabel.
I’ve been arguing with my inner critic all morning over her name. She didn’t like “self doubt” or “self sabotage”. I think she’s ungrateful and she thinks I procrastinate.
Thanks for the diversion. I read all your emails so I’ll try to comment more often.
Wait. You are picking “self doubt” or “self sabotage” over a “Christian name?” Maybe that’s why she is ungrateful and judgemental. Because no one wants to be called either thing.
Nice theme to turn over in the mind – the inner critic is YOU. That keeps me looking for a good working relationship rather than an enemy!
Yes exactly. If you’re mean to “you,” that won’t be a successful strategy.