I feel grateful to be alive when I imagine myself here. Wouldn’t it be nice to have this sensation more often?
Don’t you love the word “thrive?” It’s not about just getting through the day, making lists, or driving yourself to do more more more. It’s about a healthy, beaming, happy you, satisfied with your life and filled with gratitude.
Doesn’t that sound incredible? Who doesn’t want to be that kind of person?
As writers, we need constant reminders to stay positive. Otherwise we get distracted by what we’re not doing (not enough pitching, social media, awards, contracts, published work, classes, blog readers), versus what we thrive on (writing!).
Here are five ways to keep writing and moving forward:
1. Believe that you have something to say and people want to read it. Otherwise, when you doubt yourself, you create roadblocks that crush productivity. Manage your internal critic. Learn to recognize negative and anxious thoughts and train yourself to get back to the page.
2. Enjoy the middle. The middle is the best place to be as a writer. You’re not grasping all the time to get to the top or stay there, and you’re not at the bottom thinking you’ve achieved nothing.
The middle is wide. There is lots of room to both improve and master at the same time. It’s not about being “middling.”
3. Be aware of comparing. Yes, there will always be writers and bloggers more successful than you. It’s much kinder to celebrate your own accomplishments. Doing so can eliminate roadblocks that keep you from writing.
Do you appreciate your own accomplishments? I bet you could do so more often. I notice this when I coach people on writing the bio section of their book proposals. They get through a few drafts and they’re astonished by how good they look on paper. Suddenly, they feel so qualified and impressed with themselves! It’s a surprise.
4. Stay in the present. I took a free 10-week course last year called The Science of Happiness (you can take it now as a self-guided class). One of the many things I learned was that people are happiest in the present. Otherwise you’re in the past, often recalling something unpleasant (“I really should have done a better job on that post blah blah”) or the future (“Will I get the assignment?”)
Writing, however, can’t be accomplished in the past or future. It’s right now, bum in chair. Ergo, if you write all the time, you’ll be happy all the time, right? At least we could be happier more often.
5. Be grateful. A focus of the class I mentioned above was expressing and feeling gratitude. Studies show we can be happier if, once a week, we wrote down just three things we’re grateful for. One of these things had to be about a person rather than an event or thing.
It only took a few minutes, and it made me happier. Even better, some studies show this practice is less effective if you do it every day. Hey, less work for more results! How often does that happen? So give yourself this weekly writing assignment and see what happens.
What other tips do you have for thriving as a writer? I’d love to know.
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Speaking of writing, my class on writing food blogs and cookbooks starts soon at Book Passage. I hope you’ll join me.
(Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net)
This is a wonderful post, especially the notion of gratitude and being happiest in the present. Thank you for this – right on target for me.
Oh good. Thanks Liz. I can never hear that message too often!
Even if you’re in a crowded room (and you’re probably not) writing is very solitary activity. Take breaks and get out of the house. Take someone to lunch. It feels good and time away from the desk is often very inspiring!
Great advice for those of us who work from home, all day long. Thanks Amy.
Yes, thanks Amy and Dianne, superb advice for home-based writers 🙂
“Getting out” also provides fresh inspiration, unexpected prompts and ideas.
I have to remember that one! I find it hard to get away from my desk.
I love this piece, Dianne! It’s way too easy to get into “should” mode, but it’s one that you can never conquer, so why let it take over? Just do what you can and leave yourself some time for just being!
I do have an additional suggestion–even if you can keep your internal editor silent as you write the first draft, she/he loves to sneak in later and try to sabotage you during revisions, when you’re vulnerable. Watch out for that–think of yourself as an editor just doing your best to make the piece the best it can be, not criticizing it for what it is now. Same goes when you get suggestions from a coach or editor–we are all trying to do our best to make the piece of writing the best it can be; we’re not criticizing the writer as a person.
I tried not to use “should” in this post, Dorothy. These suggestions tend to take the joy out of life, eh?
That’s a good observation about the role of the critic during revisions. I am dealing with edits right now, which sometimes involve revision, and it is hard to keep the internal editor quiet. I try to keep moving, doing what needs to be done, without judgement. Some days are better than others, but I’m making progress. Thanks for the reminder.
Your suggestion made my day, Dorothy! I’m editing my novel right now, and your words are what I needed to hear, to not criticize it for what it is now. Thank you!
(and Dianne, thanks for the original post. 🙂 I love everything you put up, but this one nailed it for me today.)
Thanks Diane. You might like to know that Dorothy is the author of more than 100 books. If anyone has tamed the inner critic, she has! Good luck with your novel.
Dianne, this is a wonderful post. Spending too long sitting alone, bathed in the cold glow of a computer screen, it’s too easy to forget to find the joy in what we do. I especially love points two and three – the middle IS a great place to be and comparing simply sends us down those “should” rabbit holes.
Thanks.
Thanks Amanda. Yes we do have to spend an awful lot of time alone, by default, so the question is how to make it as productive — and joyful — as possible. Easy to say, harder to do.
A wonderful post, Dianne…. enjoyed all of the points… many thanks.
Thanks for saying so Liz. Appreciate it.
You had me at thrive . . . .
Hah! Thrive is such a great word. Positive, invigorating and inspirational.
Dianne, I loved what you had to say in this post. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to writing; so rarely satisfied with our work and ourselves. I’m a big fan of The Middle! Hope to be in touch with you very soon about my own work.
Thank you Ilana. Yes, so true that we have to notice when we’re criticizing ourselves and do a course correction. It’s a worthwhile practice to enter.
You’re so right, Dianne. I just recently blogged about how we writers compare ourselves to other writers and why that’s not only unfair but unproductive and possibly detrimental. Self-doubt and angst over whether people will want our stuff are things that all creative people go through. It takes reminders like this one to keep us in a good place.
Yeah, we writers are a sensitive bunch. We have to notice what kind of messages we’re giving ourselves. Sometimes we are just on auto pilot, putting ourselves down in subtle ways. Where is that post about comparing, Roberta? I looked at your site but didn’t see it.
I’m just starting out with writing for my blog so I loved the advice to believe that you have something to say and people want to read it. So often I think that what I have to say won’t be interesting to anyone but I am learning to manage my inner critic a little better! Thanks so much!
That’s a common one, Christine. Sometimes writers can take a well-worn topic and put a new spin on it, or because they have a strong voice, it sounds different and new.
Brava, my dear.
I hope there’s something here that resonates for you, Steph.
Thanks for the wonderful reminder of what’s important, Dianne. I love the idea of enjoying the middle, and that “the middle is wide.” That’s a really great thought to hold.
Thanks Jill. Sometimes I have mixed feelings about the middle — we’re always supposed to be clawing our way to the top — but it’s exhausting!
I like this post A LOT. In fact it made my day and made me smile. I think a lot of times we are so busy comparing ourselves to others that we cant appreciate where we are at ourselves. 🙂
Thank you Susan. It’s probably all stuff you’ve heard before, but it doesn’t hurt to hear it again!
Wonderful post yet again, Dianne — I have been energized and amazed at what I have been reading about David Carr on nytimes.com, who died at his desk at the NYT on Thursday. His love and energy for reporting and writing has thrilled me and filled me with renewed appreciation for and dedication to what we do —
Yes he does seem like someone who thrived as a writer. I have been reading him for years. Such a sudden death! Thanks, Paula.
Hi Dianne,
Just checking in. I didn’t receive your email for a post for this week. I had to look at my calendar to see if it was Wednesday! See what being on a schedule does? I hope you are well. Maybe you are on vacation!
I loved this post and the links btw. #5-gratitude was my fav. Apparently I am very grateful. But I know I wasn’t always this way. Maybe age as a bit to do with it. Or reality. I’m okay being on my way to the middle. Thanks as always for such thought-provoking content.
Hi Maureen, so nice of you to notice. I’m off my schedule due to the holiday. I was supposed to post yesterday and I forgot! Will get the post up shortly.
Re gratitude, yes, it is something I’ve learned to do later in life also. It’s made a big difference for me. As a result of the class, I get an email twice a week to be grateful to someone for something.
How did this slip through the cracks for me? These are great and the notion of the middle is so important, especially for those of us who are aspiring to bigger and more and trying to find our way in this business of writing and food and such. I would also add the importance of listening to your gut. Sometimes taking an assignment that you hesitate to say yes to isn’t worth pursuing. This happened to me a few months ago and I got super lucky because after struggling to work with the people who were supposed to provide me with material so I could write (it was developing web content), they put the project on hold. Saying no is important sometimes: it will make you happier in the long run and less resentful of assignments that don’t really resonate with you.
Thank you Carrie. It takes a while to hear your intuition, I’ve found.
We also get the opposite advice that we should say yes to everything too. It’s confusing. Did you listen to the IACP telecast with Dorie Greenspan? She was offered to work on a book with Julia Child and said no, then realized it was a mistake and called back a few months later. Fortunately they had not filled the position.
It’s so true. We do get that advice, to say yes to everything. I am guilty of that, and it’s why it put me in that particular boat. Yes–I was listening to that. I was surprised she said no, but I was also surprised that when she went back, she was able to take advantage of that opportunity. She’s been incredibly lucky but she’s also worked very very hard.
Wow – this is a great post Dianne! The one thing I would add is to be authentic. Write what YOU really want to write about and what resonates with you.
That’s a great one, Trudy. I have tried in the past to write non-me posts and it never works out. One thing about writing a blog for so long is that I’ve given up on what I “should” write unless I can make it work right away.