I’ll start. I have beliefs that hold me back. I bet you have them too. I say these things subconsciously, and I believe them far more often than I should. I fear if I hear them often enough, they will become true. That’s a good motivator to do something about it.
The trick is to hear what the inner critic says and then reframe the self-talk to become more positive and accepting. That’s my New Year’s resolution.
Here are three things I say that don’t help. Just three. A small list is a realistic way to affect change. Maybe you have these beliefs too, and together, we can change the conversation:
1. I am not a good enough writer.
I still think this, even though I have been published in newspapers and magazines for decades, and my book has won two awards. I know. It’s not logical, but the critic is powerful and needs to be redirected.
New self-talk for 2014: I am doing fine as a writer. I have more to say. The second sentence is important too. If I can free myself to write, without self-criticism, I will produce more work. Duh.
2. Why should anyone care what I have to say?
Well, a lot of people don’t, as it turns out. Most people, in fact. So I’m concentrating on the people who do, and who enjoy and appreciate my writing. I won’t look at who has unfollowed me, or unsubscribed from my newsletter, or who doesn’t open my emails. Those things don’t matter. What matters most is to keep going, to keep the words flowing.
New self-talk for 2014: People want to read my work and hear from me.
3. Everyone else is doing better than I am.
This one is easy. Whenever I use the word “everyone,” I know I’m exaggerating. Also, ever since I adapted this strategy of being just fine in the middle, I’m quicker to catch myself when I have this thought.
New self- talk for 2014: Many people are doing better. I am doing better than some. I’m doing just fine in the middle.
Okay, I came clean. What’s on your list? How are you going to change to positive self-talk?
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